I somehow feel compelled to update this space.  Anyhow not much has changed we are stil rather disappointed with school and the general learn to test thing, but we are moving on.   We have looked into some private and even catholic*GASP*  school, but no way in hell *snicker*  could we even afford to step into the school.

  We' d love to homeschool, but we just can't.  this morning i've wasted 2 hours sitting here doing what you might ask?  nothing really nothing, meanwhile i have stuff and i mean lots of stuff to do.  i'm a time waster and i leave everything until the last minute, always.. i say i work best under pressure.  

  I might not be enjoying the school all that much, i still give A LOT of my time to the school.  thinking i might as well be there and do something than sit home and complain.     I have been called in by the principal ( might help if i could spell it, see another reason not to homeschool)  the school board has finally picked a NEW head chef after 7 months !!  someone  thinks its a good idea we meet.  i'm hopefull he is up for some change and willing to put up the good fight.   i'm still working on the one chang I wanted to make this year and that was whole wheat bead.   Seems like such a simple thing, atleast i thought it was.   However  we are  funded under the Feds  program, so there is all kinds of loopholes and crap. 

  You might think that a school of 240 students would have a better healthier food program, but no one wants to spend the $$ on it.

    *sigh*  i'm trying to do something about something and I'm totally confused.   I've said that I would like to homeschool my children.  I do not feel they are getting what they need at our small school.  here is the catch, i guess you could say.  

  I not sure I want to, I dont think I have it in me to do it.  its one of those things where the ball already started to roll with school, so why bother?  on the other hand I'm seeing my kids come home bored out of their minds, grumpy and nasty about everything.   they are being brainwashed to tow the party line of "the norm"   no matter what we do at home everything is a battle of wills.

  I wanted to homeschool,  Boy Wonder was against it.... well now its the other way around.   I have a lot of things to look into right now and I dont have a clue on where to start.    I do know  that nothing would happen until next school year.   the girls would need to go thru de-tox ( somehow they have gotten the idea that you learn at school and not at home.. total and complete BULLSHIT) 

   After winter break O will be tested at school, more like an evalation of sorts.   she has stopped learning, her behavior has changed and she is sleepy and grumpy all the time.   I dont know if school is boring for her or too hard.  Her speach is beginning to lisp and misprounce things.  not sure if it her age or something is going on. 

   there are so many things wrong with the system, school lunch sucks ass, no child left behind is a fucking joke, I do not see any science coming home and what is there for social studies is a text book straight and narrow god bless america, christmas is christmas, halloween is halloween,  so everything is black and white.   there is no inbetween and gathering your own ideas and thoughts on something.

  we as a family have a lot to go over in the next few months, this is not something we just going to do.  we all need to do the research and get a game plan. I wish I wasnt so comfused and conflicted about it.    I'm at the point of I know what would be best for them, but its so easy to just follow the crowd and go with the school systems that are already in place..  you know its been done that way for  years.. why fix it?

    I'm tired, I would like to sneak off back to bed.  BUT NO!  once again I have to trot my ass up to the kids school to help out with the wee deliver program and a teacher b-day thing.  I sit here drinking coffee ( too much sugar) waiting on the heating guys to come tune up the furnace and replace a part so they will continue to make drops. 

  I should enjoy this time I have alone next week boy wonder and his dad will be here all fucking week... why ? why? why?  We have more winter prepping to do, but I like to work alone FFIL  has a way of watching you and telling you how to do things rather than just butting out.  fuck my stomach turns just thinking about it.

  Last weekend we layed the flooring down for the new chicken barn ( its what Odessa wants to call it)  we are awaiting a check from some outside work before we can order the rest of the materials.   Yesterday  I came home to find a lady and her 2 kids sitting in the driveway.   why,  they like to come up to look at the chickens?  great  whats going to happen next year when we get goats?

   Off to jump in the shower then start my day.  George is buying me Want Two from Rufus Wainwright today.  He does too much for me.. I shall bake him some pumpkin bread.

Currently Playing Sketches (For My Sweetheart the Drunk) [CD-Extra] By Jeff Buckley see related

 Something  reminded me I still have this sitting here.  WHOOOPS

...  anyhow nothing much to add.  So here is a photo from the top of Mount Kearsarge.  The family and I hiked the 3 miles up and down the mountain on 10/03

Currently Playing Dookie By Green Day see related

  I'm only crying because it is soo true...  ripped from Yahoo astrology page.

"Go out and play tonight, because you won't want to be far from home or dear ones as of tomorrow. Don't worry. You're not losing your edge. You're just learning to appreciate what you've got, while still enjoying your life"

  its the " you're not losing your edge"  that is soo true.  It has been long and had for me, but I am learning that I am not 21 any more, and I do not look like I am 21 anymore.   what is better yet, I'm learning to like it and not feel trapped.